Thanking the one person that can't read this.

Katie,

My dear, sweet, funny, Kate. It's amazing that through everything that is going on that you are what holds me together. The day you came into my world was the happiest day of my life. You made me a Mommy; the one thing I wanted in this whole wide world. From the second I held you I promised you that I would be the best parent to you that I could. Would I be perfect? Ha. Far from it. But I would try for you. We are together all.the.time. I wouldn't have it any other way.  For the rare times we are apart I find myself thinking about you, talking about you and most of all, missing you.  I tell you all the time how much I love you because it's true. I love you so much it hurts. My heart swells up just thinking about it and I want to cry.

Things have not been easy for me lately my dear girl.  I find myself in a dark, sad place often wondering when I will come out and see light again. I want you to know (and hopefully read one day) that it is you that clears my gray sky up. It's you that makes the old silly me come out to play again. (I'm seriously so silly, one day you will loathe it. I know it.)  So, thank you. Thank you for countless things. But most of all, thank you for being my dear, sweet, funny girl. I love you.

Oh, also? This was sort of a sad post. I needed to get it out though! They won't all be like that. I'm a pretty sarcastic, funny person if I do say so myself so stay tuned!

-Angela

Opening Letter

Well, here I go again!

I made a tumblr last year in hopes that I would start up a blog that would keep my thoughts on one forum.
Well, that never happened as I was busy with my sweet little one year old, Katie! (Also known as Bean)
Now I'm trying this blogging thing again on blogger. I think I'll have better luck here as this reminds me more of a diary. (As opposed to Tumblr which seems to be more random blurbs and pictures.) Gah, I'm so old. I still wish it was the norm to write in diaries!

Before I begin I want to thank my best friend, Johanna, for setting this blog up for me. She told me last week, "YOU NEED TO DOCUMENT YOUR LIFE. YOU CAN WRITE. DO IT." (Her words.) Maybe one day I'll be a big blogger and I'll have you to thank, Johanna!

So here I am. 26. Married. Mother of one brilliant two year old. Here I will write about my adventures in motherhood and talk openly about my new adventure: Infertility.

Infertility. A word that no woman of childbearing age wants to hear.  After a year of trying to get pregnant naturally I went to a Reproductive Endocrinologist (let's just call it an RE, shall we?) and he diagnosed me with Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome! Awesome! Did not see that one coming considering..oh, I don't know? OH YEAH, I conceived a perfect little human being with no problem! Even though this just flat out sucks, I am working with a renowned team of doctors that feel confident that I will conceive again. That gives me some hope, but the journey is hard. And sad.. And tiring.

So, my lack of blogging friends, I leave you with that. An opening letter about what I will be blabbing about on here. Hopefully one day more than 2 people will read this.

~Angela